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What is it with this Mom guilt?

By October 23, 2017Motherhood3 min read
Ubuntu Baba Baby Carriers | South Africa

I’m not going to lie, my 3 year old is currently challenging me like I’ve never been challenged before. I consider myself a gentle parent, but these past few days… phew, I’ve had some low moments. What is it with this Mom guilt? Does it ever go away? I watched a video this week which was totally true, it’s like; “here’s your baby, and here’s the the guilt you can carry for the rest of your life, til ya die!”

With all that’s going on in the world right now, internationally and in our own country, it’s easy to lose our sense of self and not live in the present moment with our babies. I think this is what mostly pushes me over the edge with my toddler. I have a lot on my mind and when I don’t give him what he needs from me, attention, the end result is never pleasing.

So I sat down and wrote a little manifesto for what I feel it means for me to be a Mom in this day and age. So I can read this and use it to bring me back to now when I need it. I’m all about creating those #toahappynow moments, but I feel like I’ve been losing my grip a little lately, so this exercise was mostly for me, but I’m sharing it with you today in the hope that it will inspire you to write your own too.

What it means to be a Mom:

Each day requires my full present attention. I cannot be swayed by external worldly circumstances at this point. I must stay grounded in my world in order to radiate the energy I need to run my days with synchronicity and grace. I must set an example for my little person, the things he sees me do everyday will create a belief system for him, of what a woman in this world is meant to be. I am his everything right now, so I need to meet him there, with love, joy, laughter, understanding and patience. It’s hard, I won’t lie. I often lose my patience completely and land up screaming at him to stop testing my boundaries. But why? Why do I shout? It’s usually when I’m not staying present in the moment with him. Shouting is my reminder that “hey, come back to now, he’s learning from you.”

What does it mean to be a Mom?

It means being authentic, shouting is okay, losing my shit, crying, hugging, apologizing, smiling, kissing, loving. It means being a support system for all those around me, even when sometimes I’m so tired I could just lie on the floor and sleep. It means taking time out to nourish myself too. A walk out in nature, alone. Wine with a best friend, late into the night. A weekend away, just me and my man. No baby. I’ll miss him, but he knows I love him. And that I’ll be back soon.

So Mama: what does being a Mom mean to you?

It’s different for us all. And that’s why when women support each other, great things happen.

Ubuntu Baba Baby Carriers | South Africa

Shannon McLaughlin

Shannon is the Founder of Ubuntu Baba baby carriers. She is passionate about helping new parents adjust to 'life with baby' through the art of babywearing and talking about the reality of motherhood in the 21st century.


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